One of "Those" Days

I can tell today is going to be one of “those” days where I’m probably going to just eat everything in sight. You know what I’m talking about ladies.

I had kind of a randomly pieced together dream last night, and in it, I was at a type of church group gathering at night in a coffee shop, much like Coffee Waves. It was Fellowship Church/church people at first, and the feel was as if we were at a staff retreat. Then the group morphed into the Victory Church group, and we were talking about the fundraisers for VKids and missions. But the whole time, everyone was eating pizza. There were hundreds of pizza boxes everywhere. I didn’t get to eat any, though, then found myself just outside. Everyone had eaten their fill, so the delivery boy was driving off in a jeep with all the left-overs. I tried to get some through the backseat window, even had a slice in my hand. But I never got to eat it because other things were going on. Needless to say, I woke up with a taste for pizza in my mouth.

I went for a brisk run yesterday, and felt so proud of myself. Then Ryan even mentioned that he could tell I have been exercising. I felt so happy about it! But then that taste crept its way back onto my taste buds. Why, yummy pizza, do you have to be so bad for me? I’d really like to be bff’s with you, really. But alas, I must tether to you in more of a love-hate relationship.

Since it is an eat-everything day, I dug a hefty spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar before heading off to work. Mind you, this was after packing a decent lunch, complete with snacks. As I was putting the jar back into the cabinet, I glanced at the nutritional facts: 2T = 190 calories (ok, not bad) and 16g total fat, which is 25% for the day. Well then it’s nice to know I’ve gotten that out of the way. If I ate 3 more of these, then I’d be confined to carrots and celery the rest of the day. I guess I must refrain if I want to allow myself to any of my lunch or snacks that are not carrots and celery.

I won’t go on and on with the details of how I also indulged in a cup of pudding, got my slice of pizza then also went to get jalapeño nachos but didn’t because the line was too long, or how I can’t stop thinking about how I want to quit eating food altogether.

At least it’s only one or two days a month. Too bad it’s a lifelong ordeal. As long as the victories are greater and more in number than the defeats, I will let myself be satisfied.