food and clothes

Ryan and I are working on setting a budget. This is tricky because I still don't have a job yet. I've been applying to a lot of postings, and might visit the TX workforce if I don't get an offer soon. So thinking and/or worrying about money has consumed my mind and energy lately.

This morning I wanted to study Matt 6:24-34. I read it slowly, bit by bit, in about 12 versions. I studied more with the Lexicon. I was asking the Lord to help me not to worry, but to also tell me how do this.

So birds don't work, and are still fed. Lillies don't toil and are still better dressed than the nicest clothes on a man. They don't do anything, and are well provided for. So am I supposed to just have faith that even if I don't work, I should still trust and expect God to provide all I need?

He can do that. He often does. But more often it seems like he has us working in a money making job so that provision can be made. So then what do I "do?" is my question. In the past, I've scrambled and stretched myself in silly ways to make money so we could be better off. Then I realize it may have been a mistake. But then what can I do to seek his kingdom and righteousness, so that all the rest will be added?

Then Deut 28 came to mind. "If you do these things, you will be blessed. If you don't, these are the curses you'll receive." That's the gist of it. And I realized that even though God may not have laid out specific instructions on how I should acquire and spend money, he has laid out instructions I should follow on how to act. Doing things according to his way results in blessings. Not doing those things, along with being unwise and wasteful has natural consequences of curses.

For me, that's what it means to "seek his kingdom and his righteousness first". Follow the principles of Godly living. Be wise and responsible. Be content. Trust him in and for everything. If I can be more concerned with this, then money and stuff will become less important. And besides the natural consequence of Godly living, there will be blessings. I see it all the time, for others and in my own life. I feel like this is one of the best and most practical promises that proves the love of God.

He is real, and he is good, and fullness of joy is for the one in his presence.

Leadership Training

I just read an update letter sent from a good friend. She's in the Colorado Rockies for the entire summer at a program called Leadership Training. She is on staff with a college ministry, and is one of the leaders leading Leadership Training. Basically, LT is a +/- 12 week internship that +/- 200 college students (and ministry staff) from around the nation attend because they want to learn (and lead others in) how to be effective in the kingdom of God, and how to be effective in the lives of others. I really enjoyed reading her letter, and it reminded me of my LT experience, and what I've learned from it.

I went to an LT in 2004. It was in Orlando at the time. And I was 22. On my way to Florida, I remember thinking "I am not a leader right now. I am going to be trained to be a leader. At the end of this summer, I will know how to be a good leader!" It sounded like a good idea. But it was the wrong idea. I expected sessions on "How to come up with good ideas that people will follow", and "How to problem solve", and "How to be a good Christian Leader".

Imagine my surprise when the first speaker said something to the effect of "I don't really have this being-Christian thing figured out. All I can tell you is it is a process." I didn't get what I expected to get from that summer. I got a lot of headaches and issues, and a lot of other stuff that came to the surface. There were some good times and good friends made too, though.

But that's LT for you. I think of it more as Life Training. Because really, life is about the decisions we make and living with the results. The effect of LT is to help young people learn how to be whole and live well. You become more of someone who is devoted to the Lord and to loving people, and who makes good decisions in line with the will of God, and who helps others do that too. LT is a pressure cooker that brings a lot of issues to the surface, so they can be dealt with in a healthy way. When you are whole and healthy, you are more able to do what is right. That type of person has more influence on others who also want to be that way. That person also knows how (and why) to choose to be less self absorbed. A leader is not the chief of the clan or the alpha of the pack. It is a person who is able to share wisdom learned from experience. Someone who is willing to step up and do what others are afraid/embarrassed/ignorant/unwilling to do. Leaders still make mistakes, but they know how to learn and grow from them. These are some of the things I learned from LT.

But opportunity is the true test. Leaders became leaders because they learned how to make the right choices and were blessed. LT teaches you how to interpret life, others, yourself. Its okay if it brings out the worst in you as long as that leads to bringing out the best in you. Its a season you won't ever forget because of the life lessons you go through. I know I am still learning from them every time I remember that summer 6 years ago. I know I am also living more in reality today than I was the first day of LT. I know I'm better off, and am more whole, and am more in God's will than ever. I went to LT because I wanted to be a leader in a group, to be respected, and to get to make decisions. It was still a long time after that before I could be anything close to real leadership material. And right now, I'm not a recognized "leader" of anything, but I'm still a leader. Not even because I want to be. I am because I love the Lord, and He has given me love for people. I've had a lot of chances to make mistakes, learn from them, and learn how to make good decisions. I still mess up, and still don't have it figured out. But it's a process.

What have you learned from LT?

new

the picture is me with Lindsey and Caleb Alberson, at reimer ranch on the 4th of july. we stayed with the albersons a week and a half while waiting to get into the apartment. they are. so. awesome.

woah hi. i need to do a for-real update soon! this is a quick run down of the past month for us:

ryan started his new job in on May 24, as a drafting tech at a survey company. he stayed with friends for about a month.
we got to see each other on weekends from then until i moved to san marcos.
i had a really fun birthday party on the 29th of may.
ryan and his brothers moved almost all of our belongings into a storage unit in mid may.
i spent four weeks packing the cabinets and closets, and getting the inside of the house looking good.
we tried to sell the house, but ended up renting it out.
we spent 2 weeks waiting for our apartment application to be approved, and stayed with friends until we got the apartment.
my last day of work at a&m was june 18, and they gave me an awesome farewell. i will miss them all.
we got our apartment 5 days ago, and are almost completely done. all the rooms are set up but the office.
our first guests will be the Floods, who will be here to stay the night this friday. hope we're ready for them by then!
i like it here. i like being in the same town with my people. i love it.