What Comes Next

We bought our house in November of 2007. It was exactly 50 years old, and only had one owner up until that time. The original owners lived here until passing away, and we acquired their home in an estate sale. It had never received any type of remodeling in those 50 years, except a few extra layers of paint and 4 extra layers of laminate flooring in the kitchen. We have had our work cut out since day one.

During the first few months of ownership, we still lived in an apartment, but took that time to do some remodeling. Ryan and his family did a lot to revive this old house. In 1957, it probably cost $5000 to build the house. After all is said and done, that is probably how much we will spend to modernize it. A new wall and windows in the dining room. New floor in the kitchen. New light fixtures and fans. A new window unit in the living room and bedroom. New siding in the front. New medicine cabinet and window in the bathroom (besides a new toilet, sink faucet, and bathtub handles). Fresh paint inside and out. Clearing out the forest in the back yard. And so on and so forth.

Many, but not all of the above improvements have happened yet. We are currently beginning round 2 in the remodel. Eventually, we are hoping to turn this old trashed, musty, and forgettable house into the nicest one on the block. And then what comes next? There are plenty of factors to consider when devising the plan. The economy, the market, location of jobs, graduation, and the good Lord's will. Of course, we have goals which we are working towards. But it feels more realistic to set reachable goals for ourselves. Such as "finish painting the ceilings," and "go to class and do homework." Finishing the house is definitely a goal, but not a means to an end. Who knows, maybe we will end up living here for another 20 years? Or maybe we will sell it before the paint is dry. I just hope our efforts will be appreciated and enjoyed.

There are many things that I want. And I am blessed to say that I have most of them. Purpose, joy, family, love. I feel quite satisfied with life. But I also feel a certain gnawing inside of me. I feel like it is the same thing that keeps all people going. Existing can be tough, but to truly live is a challenge. Most people mistake this as a need for something more. But I feel like it is a greater awareness of reality and self, and the response to go "further up and further in" (as CS Lewis puts it). I don't work to fill any deficiencies. I'm not saying I have no deficiencies, though. But I contend for what I can attain as mine, by giving all that I already have.

I don't know if I'm ready for what's coming. I know we have a plan. But I also know that time reveals whether that plan was meant to be or not. So I will set myself to do what I can do, setting and achieving goals. Taking care of what needs to be taken care of. And just take each new day as they come.