my friend and former roommate, krista, lives in austin. i am currently chilling at her pad right now. there's a pizza in the oven, and she is making "faux-hitos". i just made that up. its lime seltzer with real lime wedges and mint leaves. mmmm. i've asked her to be my guest blogger tonight.
Dear Mother Nature,
In general, water retention is a valuable property. Farmers delight in damp soil. Cute little cumulus clouds are water-saturated. Watery watermelons are the delight of the summer. Cakes should be moist. Fruit should be juicy. Swimming pools without water lose their swim. Lake Travis is a pitiful sight this summer because it has no water. However, every thirty or so days when my body decides to retain water, I really do not appreciate it. My legs plump and begin to fill my pants like sausages. Shirts begin to take on the appearance of shrouding a swollen Buddha belly, and my ring gets stuck on my inflated fingers.
Typically I delight in your bounty: verdant plants, tasty veggies, and good 'ol sunshine, but today I curse you and the four horsemen of the Apocalypse you rode in on! You can keep your cyclical bloating, red tides, pestilence, and cranky moods! In a short while I'm sure I'll be back to singing your praises along with the birds of the air and the beasts of the field, but for now Mother Nature, you're just not so swell.
Love,
Krista
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
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